Are you Not Invited? It's Okay!

Everyone in my small circle of friends and family knows, I love a great social gathering. I love throwing exciting parties and fellowshipping with fantastic family and friends. Also, I am delighted when my friends and family invite me to soirees to socialize, make positive connections, and relish in the company of old and new friends. Many of my peers label me as the life of the party, and my friends and family look forward to my lively "turn up" approach when I show up to show out! But there are times when my name is not on the guest list, and the older I become, I am okay with being excluded.


When I was a child, I always wanted to be included in everything my friends were doing. If there was a party, weekend sleepovers, or an outing at the mall, I tried my best to make sure they included me in each of their plans. If I did not receive an invitation, it made me feel sad, unwanted, and less of a person. I often questioned myself and wondered if I did anything wrong. Fitting in was important to me, and when I did not, I developed low self-esteem. I fought with the desire of wanting to be included throughout my teenage and early adult years. As I matriculated into what I like to call my "mature years," I began spending more time with myself and learning how to appreciate my own company. I started to pay attention to certain qualities that made me unique and special outside of my friends. I realized the things I needed to improve within myself and to let go of things that disturbed my potential to grow spiritually, mentally, and professionally. Although I love a great party, being invited to every event was something I no longer desired and became non-essential.


Preserving My Peace - Do I Honestly want to go?

One of the essential factors I learned from my invitation getting lost in either cyber or snail mail is to preserve my peace. Sometimes, while preparing to go to a party, I often asked myself this question, "do I honestly want to go?" Or did I want the invite to feel important and have an opportunity to say yea or no to fellowshipping with the party host and guest? Then, a little voice inside will whisper, "stay home-don't go." Most times, when I don't consider that little voice inside, with the excellent advice saying, "girl, pop you a bottle of vino, turn on some smooth 90's jams on Spotify, then fall asleep to Netflix," the energy in the atmosphere at the party is usually off. People are standing around in clicks being snobbish and you might feel out of place. There is a chance you might leave feeling worse than you did before you arrived. I am not saying all the events I attend are lame or I do not have the time of my life. I enjoy meeting new people and fellowshipping with friends and family. But sometimes, we must take heed to that little voice inside telling us to stay home and preserve our peace.


Focusing and Understanding my Purpose.

Another benefit of not always being invited is the opportunity to understand and focus on your life purpose. Sometimes, when consumed with being the social butterfly and attending various events, it is easy to get sidetracked, lose yourself in all the commotion, and become partially or fully blind to your real-life purpose. I don't believe people are supposed to live only to exist. Everyone born into this world has a valuable purpose. It is our divine right to make an everlasting positive impact in other people's lives. Spending much-needed quality time alone is a way to tap into your gifts and formulate on how to grow your passion.


Enjoying and Loving My Own Company

In my mature years (because I don't consider myself old), I appreciate the company of myself more and more. I love entertaining friends and family during holidays and warm summer days, but spending time with myself allows me to reflect, meditate, and ween out negative energy. I've learned how to accompany myself to movies, lunches, a few outdoor neighborhood events (pre-COVID), and create my little personal parties. When enjoying the company of yourself and partying alone, you can show up late, leave early, appear in your comfortable lounge clothes, fuzzy socks with no makeup, and drink the entire bottle of wine by yourself with no judgment from anyone. Also, you don't have to play or follow anyone else rules but your own.


It is Okay To Decline The Invitation.

There was a time I tried to accept every invitation extended to me. If I did not try to show up at every gathering, I was afraid of being excluded on the next guestlist and becoming known as the regular "no-show girl." Now, I understand that it is okay to decline the invitation with limited to no excuses. Declining the invitation is not being rude or showing that you do not have an interest in fellowshipping with others. It merely means that you are taking ownership of your life, and you are not neglecting your peace for the sake of making others happy. Self-care is not only pampering yourself at a lovely spa or getting a much-needed mani-pedi. It is preserving your mental and spiritual peace while enjoying your alone time and working toward meeting specific goals in your life. Yes, enjoying the company of family and friends is healthy and sometimes necessary. But accept the invitation because you honestly want to and not because you want to appease others. When life becomes a bit overwhelming, and you need to escape all the noise from the outside, declining the party's invitation is an excellent way to protect your peace.








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